Marriage is the Greatest Adventure

Last week I discussed at some length the relationships I have with in-laws and the problems that can come from blending two different backgrounds. I have been very blessed in my family relationships. I think I actually fell in love with my mother and father-in-law before I fell in love with my husband. I remember one time when I was considering my future with my then boyfriend, I thought to myself, "but if I don't marry him I won't have Dick and Miriam as my in-laws!"  After I got married I felt complete support from them, in fact, they would tell my husband, "if anything ever happens in your marriage, we're keeping her!"  I always felt so loved and never judged. They set such a great example for me as my daughters started to marry and I began welcoming in-laws into my own family.  I have really tried to honor and encourage my children to be independent as they begin their own families, even when that means they won't be at all of our family e...

One of the things I have struggled with most since becoming an empty nester is how to be a supportive, involved mother and grandmother without stepping over my bounds. I want to be a positive influence on my grandchildren, I want my children to know I pray for them, love them, and support them in all the good they do, and yet I know it's important to let them be there own independent family.        Richard Miller in his article, "Who is the boss? Power Relationships in Families", teaches that when children become adults, "the relationship between parents and children changes. In healthy families, the parents no longer exercise control or expect their adult children to obey them."  I remember when we dropped off my oldest daughter for college. We hugged, shed a few tears, and drove off.  About 10 minutes later I got a call from her, "Mom," she said, "some kids are going up to a barn for a hot dog roast and games, is it OK if I go?" I laug...