God's Finishing School (Lesson 6)
Some qualities in my husband have been difficult for me to adjust to, for example, he spends his money very differently than I do, he makes decisions very quickly, and he is more emotionally volatile than I am. But I have come to realize that there are positive sides to these qualities that can bless my life. I tend to be too "cheap" with my money and my husband helps me to understand that it's OK to spend it if we have it. If it were up to me I would continue to buy cheap stuff that would shortly break. He has taught me that sometimes it's worth buying good quality. He is also very generous with his money and has taught me to look for ways I can help people with our money. When making decisions, I like to look at all of the possible options, think about all the possible pros and cons, and then still think about it so I don't make a mistake. This can kind of paralyze me at times, with things that really aren't even that important. My husband has taught me that sometimes you just need to make a decision. If you find out later that it was the wrong decision, then you can make another decision to correct it. My husband does show his emotions easier than I do, but I have learned that is a blessing too. Over the years he has really learned to control his negative emotions (part of his finishing school) but is so open with his positive emotions. People feel very loved by him and he is very sensitive and compassionate for others. I have learned to be more loving towards others from his example. These are some of the lessons I am learning in my finishing school.
Someone once taught me that if you can stop looking at the little annoying qualities as annoying and instead look at them as endearing, they truly do become endearing. I have seen this work in my relationships. Some things that at one time were annoying I can smile at now as endearing.
Goddard says, "we need to surrender our demands that things be done our way." It was a surprise to me when I first got married that sometimes he really didn't see things the same way I did. I naively assumed that once I explained things, surely he would see it my way! But after many discussions, some smoother than others, I have come to realize that my way is not always the only way to do things, and in fact, sometimes there is a better way to approach things. I see this easily when it comes to housework. I have realized that if I want my husband to help around the house, I need to be grateful and allow him to do things his way instead of the way I've always done things. Sometimes he comes up with better ways and if I would have insisted on doing things my way, I would have missed out!
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