Charity in Marriage (Week 10)

I really enjoyed both of the text books that we have read for my marriage class.  I think they mesh really well together. I think Gottman, in his book "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," gave us hope for making our imperfect marriages work with specific ways to attack issues and Goddard teaches us how to become a better individual which will automatically help our marriage in his book, "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage".
My favorite chapter in Goddard's "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage," was this last chapter on charity. That really sums it all up--if we can treat our spouse with charity, I believe that almost all marriages could be fulfilled marriages. 
I appreciated that he called charity a "sacred and holy gift." He encourages us to pray for this gift, recognizing that it is bestowed on us by our Heavenly Father, not just something we develop on our own. I have always recognized that charity is the "pure love OF Christ," but it really impressed me how he broke it off into three loves: love for Christ, love from Christ and love like Christ. 
Reading C.S. Lewis's thoughts on our true selves coming out when we are taken off guard really hit home to me. He said, "surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth." Ouch!!
Just a week or two ago I responded in a very uncharitable way to my married daughter. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had responded that way but as I was telling my husband about it, my comment was, "I was just taken off guard. I'm pretty good about being nice when I have time to think about it, but I'm not always good about being nice when I'm just taken off guard." After reading C.S. Lewis's comments, I recognize that I need to get serious about repenting and letting Christ give me a new heart. 
This last chapter in Goddard's book is something that I think we all can use in all of our relationships. I want to buy this book just for this chapter and reread it often.

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